Men and women, same same but different
MEN and women are different and I’m convinced the hunter-gatherer dynamic exists in modern day human DNA.
Men are hunters and women are gatherers.
My husband shudders at the thought of a shopping trip.
He shops with the precision and stealth of a military operation.
Target? A new pair of jeans.
He goes directly to the shop and into the menswear section.
Less than ten minutes later, he leaves carrying a bag with one pair of men’s denim jeans. Job done.
Me? I go to the shop to buy a new jumper and leave with two party sized bags of potato chips, two Lego sets, craft supplies, (more) glass containers with lids, a fancy water bottle, a new phone case, a hat and balls containing miniature lifelike food.
My 10-year-old daughter comes with me.
She loves shopping while my sons will fake illness to avoid it.
A daughter is like having a little best friend who thinks you are loaded with cash.
I’m definitely not loaded, but she always buys a Fuggler because she’s collecting them.
Fugglers are funny stuffed toys with lifelike teeth and eyes; they’re creepy, cool and weird.
We arrive with a plan and short list … I’d put pen to paper and wrote about six items down before leaving home.
Foolish woman.
First of all, the list is always forgotten in the car, much like the reuseable shopping bags resigned to living forever in the boot.
We’re in the mall now and too lazy to return to the car, but never mind, we only came to buy six items.
Guinea pig food, meat, milk, bread, jeans and a new jumper for the kiddo because she’s going through a growth spurt.
We enter the shop and grab a blue basket, not the small one, the larger one with wheels and a handle.
We make our way through aisles full of items we absolutely don’t need and our wants jump into the basket.
At some point the blue basket is overloaded and my child scurries away to get a trolley.
As she does, I notice the many men sitting on seating arrangements outside shops in the mall.
You know the type? Those mock loungeroom ensembles with double sided couches, soft seating and a small table.
Some time ago I had an idea for a men’s room at shopping malls.
I’d been to shopping centres that had playrooms and children were signed in for a two hour period while their parents shopped.
No more than two hours, it’s not a daycare rather a safe, supervised kid’s play area.
What of one for men, I wondered?
There’d be a craft beer bar, multiple screens showing sport, gaming consoles and big bean bags for them to stretch out on.
They could buy snacks, log onto free WIFI and charge their devices.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying men and children are the same … just it would give them an option to opt out of shopping while being in the mall until their partner finishes.
Something else men and women do differently is communicate.
You’re introduced to a new couple and after the first meet up what the woman knows is like the lyrics to a Bon Jovi song.
‘Tommy used to work on the docks, union’s been on strike, he’s down on his luck and it’s tough’.
‘Gina works in a diner all day, working for her man, she brings home her pay for love’.
During the car ride home, I’ll mention something I’d been told by our new friends.
“How do you know all of this?” my husband asks.
“How do you not know all this?” I respond.
He knows what the bloke likes to drink, the sporting team he supports and what he does for a living and that’s about it.
None of the other stuff is important to him and that’s perfectly okay.
We are wired differently but there’s a synergy to the differences and our individual strengths and weaknesses balance things out.
In the words of Bon Jovi … ‘we’re living on a prayer’ and even if we’re singing from different hymn sheets, ‘we’ve got each other and that’s a lot’.
