Growing better never bitter
AS I write this Ramblings, my dear mum is passing away in a hospice in the United Kingdom.
When thinking about what to write this week, I thought of her and how much she loves my writings.
I thought of her sense of humour and how if I filled a page with doom and gloom she wouldn’t be impressed.
“Grow better and never bitter,” she’d say.
“A sense of humour is what’s needed to get through this life, La Pa.”
My parents call me La Pa or Chooks, and only ever Lara when I was in trouble.
Mum is a prankster, a joker and loves to laugh.
It was the mid 1990s, I was in my early 20s when mum, her friend Penny and I decided to go to the local bar for a cheeky drink.
As we drove, Penny found a tiny pair of knickers on the back seat.
They belonged to my younger sister who left them there when changing into ballet gear.
“I dare you to go into the bar with these on your head like a hat,” Penny said to mum.
Oh dear, I thought, never ever dare mum because she’ll do it.
We walked into the pub laughing and mum looked a delight wearing her pink frilly knicker hat.
And the leg holes were the perfect size for her ears.
Mum and dad had close friends that shared their love for banter.
Their names were Mike and Janet Annerley.
Mike and mum were always trying to one up each other.
It was Mike’s birthday and the couple met mum and dad at the scuba diving club for lunch and a dive.
Mum spent a lot of time icing a birthday cake for Mike, but this cake was not like the others.
Inside was a foam cake block used when demonstrating decorative icing techniques.
There was no delicious cake beneath the icing, only foam.
She executed the prank beautifully, telling him of its vanilla cake centre and leading the happy birthday chorus.
Then as he tried to cut the first slice, the knife stalled and the jig was up.
“Gotcha!” mum said, delighted everything went to plan.
Mike knew mum couldn’t say ‘no’ to a dare and on a different day at the same scuba diving club, he dared her to order lunch wearing fake ugly teeth and a plastic bag on her head.
As I write this, I am wondering how someone just happens to have fake ugly teeth in their pocket, but anything’s possible when it comes to mum.
Mum loves parties, fancy dress parties, particularly.
Her 40th birthday celebrations were a full-on trickster party.
She raided the prank aisle of a toy shop and brought home fake bugs, spiders and something for ashtrays that makes sparks when someone flicked cigarette ash into it.
Even using the bathroom wasn’t safe because the toilet had a pressure activated switch and a recorded message that shouted, “Ey! I am working down here!’” when someone sat down.
Both of my parents are pranksters and that must count for their attraction to one another.
When I was about 13, dad sold his car and was paid in cash.
Not wanting to leave the money at home unattended, he brought it to a family dinner at the local burger joint.
When the waitress brought out the bill, he put the huge stack of notes on the tray and said “keep the change”.
Of course, she didn’t get to keep the change and dad was just joking around.
Family gatherings were always full of laughter and joke retelling.
It takes time to get used to us, and we know it.
The first time I travelled to the UK I did so alone with my husband holding the fort in Australia.
I went through customs and into the arms of my parents.
“I need to let Dave know I’ve arrived safe because he worries about me,” I told dad.
Dad phoned Dave and I heard him say, “look, things have gone wrong and Lara was stopped in Dubai as they found something in her luggage. What do you want us to do?”
The whole time I am hearing this, I’m glaring daggers at dad.
Poor Kiwi Dave didn’t grow up with these kinds of shenanigans and believes whatever he’s being told.
As mum leaves this world and enters the next, she leaves us with memories of a life lived full of love and laughter.
Some people leave unhappiness behind, but not my mum because true to her word she grew better and never bitter.
