Millionaire babies, social media’s sucked in content
THERE was this kid named Ryan who took over our household about five years ago.
He burst into our lives through the touchscreen of my daughter’s iPad.
The device had been set up bespoke for her with age-appropriate apps. One of them was YouTube Kids.
The first sign our little one was enamoured by this new person was the constant high pitched squeals and hype that seemed to go on non-stop.
She binge-watched every clip Ryan uploaded, then watched again.
Our daughter was paws deep in love with an unrealistic version of what a typical family dynamic looks like.
It started with a toy review channel.
Apparently in 2015, Ryan asked his mother why other kids had their own YouTube channels and he didn’t.
The story goes his mum quit her job as high school chemistry teacher to work on the YouTube channel full time.
I’m sure there has to be more to it, but that’s how it’s explained on Wikipedia.
Ryan and his parents filmed themselves doing myriad science experiments, different sports, turning lounge rooms into obstacle courses and cooking all kinds of foods.
And did I mention the toys?
Yep, more toys than you can poke a stick at were arriving at this kid’s home for him to review.
What an act to have to follow.
Ryan’s channel now has 37.3 million subscribers, he’s got a merchandise and toy range and did I mention movies?
Yes, he’s going to be in a movie coming out on the big screen in August in the US.
There are other channels, too. One particularly irksome one our kiddo liked was, in my view, lacklustre and cheap.
I don’t know what the faces looked like, but on screen it was just two pairs of hands holding a doll each that looked like Anna and Elsa from the ‘Frozen’ franchise.
I think the video channel’s maker was tiptoeing around possible copyright infringements because the characters were calling themselves Annaya and Elisia.
High pitched and annoying, repetitive and nonsensical story lines were all part of the charm for our naïve little lady.
Not for us though, so we bought her headphones … ‘Frozen’ branded, naturally.
Our daughter is nine now and no longer expects us to live up to what she sees on YouTube Kids.
We sometimes incorporate some of the things she sees happen online like birthday scavenger hunts and different craft.
I don’t think many parents are able to dedicate hours a day to entertaining their kids with new and fantastical games and merchandise.
Those that do have sponsors and their kids become their job and their money makers.
It’s a tough act to follow and I’m not sold on the idea it’s an act borne of love … love of money perhaps.
Ryan’s now entering his teenage years and new YouTube ‘sensations’ pop up every day.
Perhaps we could’ve made a buck or two pushing a channel featuring our kiddo had we started five years ago.
We didn’t because we’re old, we’re tired and a childhood lived through the screen of an iPad is not what we want for our darling girl.
Ryan’s no longer in our lives, the iPad broke and we decided the online world was not appropriate for her just yet.
Now she sits outside in the warm winter sun, making potions and snakes with hats out of polymer clay.
You can’t put a price on a childhood lived right.
