Drop bears, redbacks and slow moving elephants
NEVER mind drop bears, it’s the smaller Australian fauna we blow-ins need to be wary of.
When this South African first set foot on her new island home, she was warned about drop bears.
You know, those fuzzy koala type creatures with red eyes that drop off trees to tear you apart with razor sharp claws and teeth.
The good old drop bear tale is up there with ‘that’s not a knife, this is a knife’ and ‘put another shrimp on the barbie’.
Something this country has that sends a shiver through us migrants are its spiders.
Last week, I accidently ‘shook hands’ with a redback and it responded by nipping me on my hand.
Its messy nest was inside the door handle of a screen door.
It sat on my hand looking at me as I looked at it, contemplating my next step.
I wish I could say I gracefully carried it into the garden and set it free but what really happened was, the moment I noticed the redback, I morphed into a ninja, flinging my arms and legs around and sending it flying.
I didn’t see it coming and it probably didn’t see me coming either.
In South Africa, it’s different.
I come from the land of the big five.
That’s the lion, elephant, leopard, rhinoceros and buffalo.
Every single one of those will kill you given half a chance, but you can see them coming.
In 2007, my family and I were driving to have breakfast at this gorgeous restaurant with views over the Kwa-Zulu Natal bushland.
We timed it so we’d have enough time for a leisurely brekkie but something big and grey got in our way.
About five kilometres from the destination, a massive elephant decided it had somewhere to go and was using the road to get there.
Elephants are not fast walkers, they saunter.
There was ample room on either side to pass the animal but doing so is foolish because they get spooked easily and tip a car over the same way we’d kick a pebble.
Or they may choose to sit on the car and we’d turn into a can of sardines.
We drove the appropriate distance behind this bumbling beast at 10 km/hour and missed the brekkie.
And back to my new island home – that redback couldn’t squash or toss me, but it certainly made me ill.
I’ve spent most of my life surrounded by animals and not once was I hurt by any of them.
The Australian redback takes that honour.
Now I just need to watch out for drop bears.
